I've been very happy these past few days. And di lang basta masaya, masaya and contented. Matagal kong hinanap yung ganitong feeling. Contentment sa kung anung friendship between me and Ms. Yellow. She asked me one time kung nag eexpect daw ba ako sa amin, sad thing is the fear of losing her overcame me in the sense that a part of me answered na the only thing I'm expecting is to make her smile on every gesture that I do. My answer was too safe. Nainis nga ako kasi I didn't answer her with the words that my heart was craving to tell her. The truth is sobrang dami kong ineexpect. Expecting na makilala pa sya, maipakilala ko ang sarili ko and my other side, and to express to her freely what I feel. Expectations will just be expectations without the effort. I'm still hoping to know her more. And each passing day of endless teasing and badgering, lalo lang ako nahuhulog sa knya. I know na its quite a very shallow reason to fall in love, pero it's what my heart is telling me. If only you guys can see what i see. I want to discover more ways to make her smile. And kung magkakaroon man ako ng wish, it would be that God grant me the strength to do this forever.

I ♥ U

p.s: i wont give up no matter what. namiss kong mag blog -.-

Currently listening to: Smile - Minstrels
Currently feeling: super!

Kapag ako ay nagmahal, isa lamang at wala nang iba pa.
Iaalay buong buhay. Lumigaya ka lang, lahat ay gagawin.
Tumingin ka man sa iba, magwawalang-kibo na lang itong puso ko.
Walang sumbat na maririnig, patak ng luha ko ang iniwang saksi.

Bakit nga ba mahal kita? Kahit 'di pinapansin ang damdamin ko.
Di mo man ako mahal, ito pa rin ako nagmamahal nang tapat sa 'yo
Bakit nga ba mahal kita? Kahit na may mahal ka mang iba.
Ba't baliw na baliw ako sa 'yo, hanggang kailan ako magtitiis
O, bakit nga ba mahal kita?

Currently feeling: determined

Natulog lang ako almost the whole time knina, mukha akong meron. -.-

Moodswings and hindi makausap, I almost perfected a quiz kanina kaso parang wala lang. I'm being negative these past few days talaga. Siguro uber paranoid lang ako on things na iniisip ko and nakikita ko. Kainis kasi, ang manhid nya. Di ko alam kung totoo ba or pinagttripan nya ako on some things. Tulad the other day nagbulletin sya sa Friendster, nakakaparanoid lang mga surveys na yun. Yung tipong ganito yung mga tanong:

Q: What made your day? A: ♥ haha i saw him . lolxD

pis po, i hope everything gets better on the coming days. hoping and praying.

Currently listening to: when i dream about you - stevie b.
Currently feeling: emo tsk..

I've been depriving myself of coffee since last saturday. I dunno kung dun ko ba nkukuha mood swings ko tsk. Masaya naman ako these past few days, kanina lang para lng akong ewan. Haha cguro pagod lng ako. Wala na kc kming maid since last sat and my mum's not home yet. Haha linis cr, walis ng dahon, shopping for groceries and stuff para sa bahay. Pagod nga lang cguro talaga. Mejo aun nga feeling ko kulang lng araw ko. Di kasi nagtxt today si Ms Yellow. Aun wala lng, haha! Prang kulang lang talaga. Nalungkot tlga ako konti pero wala naman ako mggawa kasi nga may reasons sya. Di sya nwala sa isip ko..

Pero all in all, masaya ako these past few days! Masaya ako kasi kahit papano nagkkwento na sya ng konti, masaya ako kasi kahit inaasar nya ako, instead na maasar ako e lagi npapangiti ako. Masaya ako kasi lagi nya akong binibili sa FFS app (Friends4Sale) sa Facebook. Masaya ako kasi feeling ko mas naeexpress ko na sarili ko sa kanya. Haha cge tawa lang, OO na puro ako kababawan and I'm so HS. Pero what more can I ask for? I'm enjoying and being happy on something na money can't buy. Priceless para sakin ung mapasmile sya kahit na split second lang. Aun..

It takes only seconds to tell a girl that you love her, but takes a lifetime to prove. And I'm willing to spend my whole life proving myself to her.

Currently watching: house.. :)
Currently feeling: missing someone

Its been 3 months since huli akong uminom. It was fun at first. Kaso as the hours passed us by, mejo naubusan na ako ng songs to sing sa videoke and i was left sa terrace thinking of things that I shouldnt be thinking of. Sakit ko na to e, I think too much and to emphasize on it, way too much. Ayun been thinking of Ms. Yellow lagi talaga and questioning myself why did she react like she did last saturday. Partly dinamdam ko talaga yung gesture na hindi sya humaharap sakin. Haha i cant blame her, cnu nga ba ako?? A guy she knew form facebook that suddenly popped out of her doorstep proclaiming to like her. Shocking naman yun diba? I guess I'm being too negative lang ulit talaga. ANG EMO KO!

More effort mah boi...

Currently listening to: Look At Me Now - Akon
Currently feeling: tipsy

Im sorry if I posted too  late, lol. I still have the jitters from what happened last saturday. Everything went well on my prep part. The flowers were nice, the usb was working perfect. I went to Dangwa (a place here in Phily famous for flowers) at around 9am to get the 4 dozen rose boquet i got for Ms. Yellow. Aun, I decided to get another boquet for her mum. Sort of a get well soon gift. Mejo pissed na nga sakin yung nag aarange ng flowers, i keep on requesting stuff. Haha parang ako rin nag arrange nung flowers in simple terms. Malas ko lng that morning kasi there were no Yellow Roses. That was the original plan to get an all yellow boquet. Grabe, di ko macontain yung excitement ko when I got everything in the car and while I was driving to Rosario. My buddy Mike was laughing at me lang all the way. Around lunchtime, natapos ko na ung letter that i wrote for her. I'm not really good at writing stuff, sinabi ko lang some pieces of me and what i feel. I got to the town of Rosario, without knowing kung saan siya nakatira. Basta all I know is it's along the highway and and its very near a gas station. Luckily nahanap ko in 1 glance, may part lang ng house na parang nakita ko na kaya aun. Hahaha stalker na stalker. I was very worried, kasi i thought na hindi sya lalabas kasi when i called her phone ayaw nya. Pero her friend said stay kasi she's ultra shy. Well un nga tlga naobserve ko, haha we havent met yet then all of a sudden POOF andun na ako with a boquet for her. Pagbaba ko ng car, my hands were shaking and lips trembling. For the first time kasi nkita ko sya kahit glances lang. Felt very fuzzy that time talaga. Nakakatawa lang kasi tumalikod sya sakin all the way, pero feeling ko tlaga natatawa sya. Antagal namin naganun, hahaha almost 30 mins ata. Naibigay ko lahat except dun sa 3 pcs ng stawberry and cream lollipops na nsa bulsa ko. Hahah natense ako e, sue me.

Its been a while na naging ganito ako ka enthusiastic sa isang tao. Cguro nga tama sila na gustong gusto ko si Ms. Yellow. I'm not usually this sweet, ewan ko haha may nagsabi sweet daw un. All I wanted was to make Ms. Yellow smile. I was smiling all the way nung pauwi ako, and kahit pagod i was very reenergized kasi kahit papano i saw the refelection of her smile on the wet window of my car. Kahit blurry masaya na ako dun. Hay, hirap mainlove. Sana humarap na sya soon.. haha! 

Currently listening to: wonderwall - oasis
Currently feeling: cheerful

pray for me please..

:)

I feel like I never measure up to who you see
Sometimes I think I can't give you all the love you need
You keep changing everyday
Amazing me in everyway.

I never dreamed I could ever feel the way I do
I hope and pray I will always be enough for you
I can only do my best
I have to trust you with the rest.

I promise I will hold you through the changes and fears
When life seems unclear
And when I can't be right there with you
I know there's angels by your side.

If I could be the perfect man in your eyes
I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life
I could promise the world but it's out of my hands
I can only give you everything... I have.

Currently feeling: in love..

Another tiring day has expired. I went out today to errands for mum again. I consumed 4 cans of coffee on the way Quezon and another 4 on the way home to Cavite. Haha the trip was fun. And even though I was all alone hindi ako nabore kasi Ms. Yellow's still sending me messages until I got home. Although there were times na feeling ko she got pissed kasi nga makulit talaga ako most of the time. Aun sana lng she's not so pissed sakin. I'm happy nung tinignan ko ung registry ng phone ko, Ms. Yellow already sent me 835 (eight hundred thirty five) messages! Babaw ko nuh, I really didnt notice na were talking that much pero swear sobrang saya ko. I never erased any of her messages, except lng for 1 unread message na nadelete by accident. Saturday's nearing and it feels like the nights of waiting are getting longer. I'm praying and hoping na everything will go well on Saturday. I wont hold back talaga. I'll do everything even if it means waiting for years. Planning on going up to Tagaytay tomorrow. Pray lng sa hapon at Pink Sister's convent for luck and courage.

I need some shuteye.. -____-

Currently listening to: iris - googoo dolls